Jargon
The long-time readers of Russo's Rants have their own jaron, acronyms, and in-jokes. This is an attempt at a comprehensive list. Wild Players and Management (Current and Former) *'Current Players: ' **Eric Belanger - Bel, Bela, Grouchy, Hooknose, Reggie (Mr. October), Vlad, Belly **Derek Boogaard - The Boogieman, Boogs, Boogie **Pierre-Marc Bouchard - PMB, FSM (Figure Skating Midget), Butch **Andrew Brunette - Bruno, Brüno **Brent Burns - Inglewood Jack (or IJ for short) **Cal Clutterbuck - C-Buck, Buttertruck, Cannonball, Buttercup, Nutterbutt, Cluster**ck **Kim Johnsson - Kimmy J, Yawnson, Yawny **Mikko Koivu - Franchise **Antti Miettinen - Mittens **Owen Nolan - Olden Nolan, IGoW (Irish God of War) **Benoit Pouliot - B-B-B-Benny, Benny Hill, Benny Poubah, Pool Boy, Switzerland **Nick Schultz - Schultzie, The Hammer **John Scott - BJS (Big John Scott) **James Sheppard - Shep ("I've Been Playing Hockey Since I Was 2!") , Bigfoot **Marek Zidlicky - Zids, Zee *'Former Players: ' **Keith Carney - Yoda (to Brent Burns), Midway **Pavol Demitra - Demitriage, WonderGroin Twin #2 **Marian Gaborik - DH (Dead Horse), Groinerik , Gho$t, WonderGroin Twin #1, Lord Groindermort (He Who Must Not Be Named) **Branko Radivojevic - Radio **Martin Skoula - Skouba, the Human Pylon, FrankenSkoula, Bad Marty/Good Marty **Stephane Veillieux - SRV (Stevie Ray Veillieux ), Rocky Dennis, Red **Dominic Moore - Who? **Chris Simon - To quote DR: "I've done the due diligence and talked to enough people that know a little bit about who this person is," Risebrough said. "But why would the fans know all this stuff? Why would they know he's got three young kids and he's a soft-spoken guy who really wants to keep playing his career and has paid his price? Why would fans know that? They wouldn't know that, so that's my fault. I miscalculated that they would know that." *'Personnel: ' **Chuck Fletcher - CF, Fletch **Todd Richards - TR **Mike Ramsey - Rammer **Kevin Gorg - Quasimodo, Vern Tessio, The Other 'KG' **Dan Terhaar and Mike Greenlay - the duo known as Dumb & Dumber, aka D&D. **Dan Terhaar - Dumb & Dumber #1 **Mike Greenlay - Dumb & Dumber #2, Greenhorn *'Former Personnel ' **Doug Risebrough - DR, Smug, Smugsbrough **Tom Lynn - TooL **Jacques Lemaire - JL Other Players and Personalities *'Pinky and the Brain Twins: '''refers to Naslund and the Sedins. *'The Sisters: The Sedin Twins, Henrietta and Danielle *'''Paul Bunyan: Matthias Ohlund *'Cookie Jarvis:' Matt Cooke *'Hayseed:' Brian Hayward, moronic Ducks color man Other Teams *'Anaheim Ducks: '''The Fowl *'Columbus' NHL Team: BJs *'Edmonton Oilers: '''Grease *'Vancouver Canuck: 'The Nuks (Like what you give a crying baby) *'Dallas Stars: 'The Southstars *'Calgary Flames: 'Flamers; Cows; Cowgary *'Detroit Red Wings: 'Dead Wings; Detroilet *'Philadelphia Flyers: 'Filthadelphia Random Jargon *'POTD: '"Post of the Day" - This is awarded to the poster that has the funniest post of the day. It can be awarded many times throughout the day. *'Slovak Shower: refers to a scene from a Wild promotional video wherein Marian Gaborik and Pavol Demitra are seen going into a shower together. Since they are both Slovakian, it was referred to as a Slovak Shower. *'Russoville: '''is the informal name for Russo's blog, used primarily by the users. Users are also referred to as Russotans *'Don Russo:' is not Michael Russo's evil twin, but Russo himself. He is sometimes referred to simply as "The Don", as he is the boss. Mr. Burns is to Springfield as Mr. Russo is to Russoville. *'#2:' nickname for Kent Youngblood, intrepid Consiglieri to Don Russo. *'#3:' Brian Stensaas, aka Stencils, Good King Stensaaslas *'Russotan:' loyal student of the gospel of Don Russo. Denizen of Russoville, and possible poster in the comments section of the daily pearls of wisdom and enlightenment contained therein. *'GTRCMBSHP: (pronounced “guitar comb shop”) abbreviation for Groin Triage and Rehabilitation Center for Make Benefit Slovakian Hockey Player. Located at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, MN. Clinics now open in Vancouver and Long Island. *'''Dr. Rosenrosen: Director of GTRCMBSHP *'WWIFITF: '(pronounced “wuh-WIF-itiff”) abbreviation for the Wes Walz Institute for Instilling Testicular Fortitude *'MCSTDDC: '(pronounced “mic-stihd-DICK”) Matt Cooke School for Testicular Disintegration During Confrontations *'HUGGY: '(pronounced “huggy”) Healthful Unattaching from Good Goalscorers Yearning. Located at GTRCMBSHP, Dr. Rummack, director. Also Brian Rolston's nickname for his forechecking technique. *'100 Watt Jones: '''The best band you’ve never heard of. House band of Russoville * '''Food: '''When the Don posts a new blogpost, we say there is food. *'The Martin Skoula Hat Trick (MSHT): (pronounced “EHM-shiht”) A player who is last on his team in +/-, has zero hits and contributes nothing offensively/makes a huge mistake that leads directly to a goal for the other team in a single game shall be awarded a MSHT *'Slover: '(named for Ray Slover, of The Sporting News) used to indicate poor journalism/be critical of poor journalism *'Getting Fedoruked: '''Getting your face caved in *'Dropping the Purse: 'Dropping the gloves *'Niederlanne: 'an aging but still productive player who waffles *'Cele: 'The term used for a Brent Burns goal celebration *'MFTXF: My Friend The X Fan (ex: My Friend the Hawks Fan) *'Organ-eye-zation - '''the phonetic term for referring to an Organization. *'RIAC - 'Rosie in Assless Chaps - Usually used to emphasise that you would rather see RIAC than see X action take place. And something that should probably never be mentioned, yet always is by a certain Russotan who clearly has some kinks he needs to work out. *'COMC - '''Choking on My Cheerios - Akin to LOL but more extreme. Usually referred to if you aer eating at the time you read something very funny. Users *NiNY - Nick in New York - Russoville's resident cunning linguist. *KiPA - Kevin in PA, a Penguins fan that happened to stumble into Russoville drunk one night and has remained a resident ever since. He also provides a great 'outsiders' perspective and has a wicked man-crush on Pascal Dupuis. *MKIA - Mister Know it All, a user who (often) talks to himself through his various usernames and refers to himself in the third person *VoR - Voice of Reason, aka Wafer, often tries to calm the riled mob, Excel maestro and founder of this here Wiki page *SoTB or SoB - Stoned on the Breakaway *WRT - Wild Road Tripper, a guy who goes to Wild road games because he has nothing better to do *BNAG - Boogie Needs a Goal, a man who desperately wants Boogaard to score a goal, then he can die a happy man. *ATX - AustinTXwildfan - AKA: Chairman of the Russoville Chamber of Commerce, head deacon at the Russoville non-denominational house of worship *WATX - WildinATX, the better half of ATX and President of the "I <3 PMB" Fanclub. *BG - Bandgeek, the better half of Mr. Bandgeek *MrBG - Mr. Bandgeek *FFS - Five Forward System (previously known as Six Goalie System) *The Dude - The Alter Ego of ATX (only when consuming White Russians) *Smuggla - Grizzled WWII vet sitting at the corner of the Russoville bar *G* - GreenStar - Head coach of Russoville, Xs and Os Ninja *kj - 100 watt jones saxophonist extrordinaire and renowned Smug critic *DB - Deep Breath *kgoph - kgopher, kg, or KG *Mike - known troll who hates the Wild (or "Mild" as he says), especially hated Doug Risebrough. Uses many aliases including, but not limited to, CanucksFan and DucksFan. *Hockey Guru Dan - hostile, resentful, bitter know-it-all who hates everything and everyone and just can't figure out why the world can't see that he's got it all figured out. *El Gato - It means "The Cat" in Spanish *woodcock - the man with the wooden... well, you know. *Ms.C - Ms. Conduct - The Russoville resident expert on the Houston Aeros. *AiH - Aaron in Houston - The other Russoville resident Houston Aeros Expert. *bg - ballgame, alleged alias of Doug Risebrough *Gunslinger - also called MudSlinger by MKiA. *toivo - hockey nerd and/or sex symbol *Bisker82 - Death From Above